oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
and you fell through a lawn chair
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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