Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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