woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
