i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize