The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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