so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
