what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
