...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
