Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize