Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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