The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
