I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
