; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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