No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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