I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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