She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
