I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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