i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
