His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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