My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
