I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
