I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
