Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
