so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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