i would punch a child for taco bell
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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