Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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