i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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