hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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