why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
