her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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