a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
