Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
