is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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