I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
