i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
