i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize