On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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