You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
