I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
