I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize