Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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