Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I would fuck him just for his dog
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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