are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I would fuck him just for his dog
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
