the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
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Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
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He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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