Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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