Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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