dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
