Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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