vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They took my balls.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
