awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
