I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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