i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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