Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
