she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish i was in the wii world.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
