I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
