This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
