Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I stole a fireplace last night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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