So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
