i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
