You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
