The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize