You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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